3 Ninjas Kick Back

Watching 3 Ninjas Kick Back was the strangest thing. The movie came out back in 1994 and I know for a fact that I haven't seen it since. It has been fifteen years since I last saw this movie. Yet the entire time I was watching it I knew everything that was going to happen. It wasn't just because the movie is insanely predictable, because I was saying lines of dialogue, character reactions and all sorts of things I shouldn't know. How do I remember this movie so well even though I was 10 years old the last time I watched it?

There is really only one logical conclusion to come to. I have in fact seen this movie several times since 1994, but paid to have the memory surgically removed, kind of like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Anywhere in my mind they found something about this movie, they got rid of it. The problem is, they must have either missed some stuff, or my mind is so strong it's starting to remember. Frankly, I might be better off forgetting.

There's no denying the first 3 Ninjas is a pretty bad movie. However I will always have a soft spot for it because of pure nostalgia. The 2nd movie however does not hold that nostalgia factor so I can recognize it as just a bad movie. 

The strangest thing is that 2 of the ninjas have been recast. One seems to be a lot older now, while the other is way way younger. Apparently it's because this one was actually filmed later in the series, but released as the second movie. It doesn't matter too much because none of the actors are particularily good. 

I can't for a second buy into the fact these kids could kick anyone's ass, let alone full grown adults who are apparently trained ninja warriors. When you see them hit someone it looks like a slight tap, yet the opponent just goes flying through the fucking air like they were punched by a damn ape. I guess it's supposed to be ok because the bad guys are so over the top ridiculous that the movie clearly isn't supposed to be taken seriously. The problem is, it's still really stupid.

The fight scenes are I guess well choreographed. It's always very obvious when a stunt double is being used instead of one of the kids, or especially the grandpa. There doesn't seem to be as much fighting in this one either, at least when compared to the first one. Hell the last 15 minutes of the movie is just devoted to a baseball game that nobody has any emotional investment in. I guess we're supposed to want them to beat the other team because it's got some bullies on it. You can't even take these bullies seriously though because at the end of the movie, the main one challenges a girl to a fist fight. He says it all tough too like he's being bad ass. It's pretty pathetic and could be one of the most laughable attempts at being a bully I've ever seen in a movie.

I know it's a little unfair to hate on this movie when I've admitted to liking the first one, which is virtually the exact same movie. You could almost even call this a slight remake. Mostly though this one steals ideas from the second Karate Kid movie. I never noticed it when I was a kid but now I can definitely see the resemblance. Anyway like I said, the first one has nostalgia going for it, however this one does not. It's got enough for me not to give it a completely terrible review, but I can't give it any higher than...

4/10