Hotel for Dogs

Hotel for Dogs is one of those strange movies that seems to want to exist in reality, but at the same time is so insane there is no way this could take place in anything close to resembling real life. The events in this movie are about as likely to happen as Lord of the Rings.

The main kids in this movie are smarter than any human who has ever lived. Some of the contraptions in this movie would put renowned architects to shame. To say they do it with apparently no materials or money at their disposal makes it that much more amazing. I think even scientists would look at this movie and go "what the fuck? that can't exist!" I know it's a kid's movie so this sort of argument shouldn't apply, but it's just too ridiculous for a movie that seems to want to be at least somewhat grounded in reality.

Also in real life are dog catchers really such sadistic assholes? Would they actually take a dog out of a child's arms, wave the dog in front of them and taunt them about how they are going to take the dog away and kill them? They can't really be like that can they? The devil himself would look at those actions and go "Harsh man, harsh."

The acting is pretty good in this movie, with even a surprising appearance by Don Cheadle, who actually doesn't phone his performance in. The Lisa Kudrow/Kevin Dillon characters are pretty annoying, but thankfully we don't have to put up with them very much. 

The movie is of course all about the dogs and they are pretty damn cute, there's no denying that. The beagle deserved a lot more screen time however. We all know they are the cutest dogs ever, so what the hell?

As far as kids movies go, this one isn't bad. Sure the kids are way too smart, the villains too evil and if these events really took place then a lot of fucking people would be going to jail, but it's decent entertainment and better than a lot of what is being peddled to kids these days. It's worth at the very least a rental.

5.5/10