King Kong (1933)

Humans are such cockblockers. That's really this entire movie boils down to, humans blocking cock. In this case they are cockblocking a monkey, but it still counts. Anytime Kong is even close to getting some, humans come and fuck it all up. He finally meets the girl of his dreams and look what happens

You have to look at the lengths Kong goes to for this woman too. He tears the head of a T-Rex virtually in half, he kills this giant snake thing that is strangling him the whole time, and then he even fights a teradactyl. Those are some pretty huge gesture. I won't even move my feet off the couch so my girlfriend can sit down. Does Ann thank Kong for all those? Nope, she just runs away and allows him to be kidnapped. Fucking unappreciative women.

Speaking of the kidnapping how in the hell did they get Kong back to land anyway? Their ship wasn't nearly big enough to carry him and I doubt there were enough men to lift him up. I can't remember if the new movie explained that or not.

This is my long winded way of saying I really enjoyed this movie. I had never seen it before. I have only watched the Peter Jackson remake from a few years ago. I liked that movie but did feel it was too long. This one tells the same story in half the time, so right there is a point for this one.

Of course the movie is from 1933 so the special effects are quite primitive. At the same time though, they're pretty damn awesome. It's 76 years later and I know I couldn't make a movie that looks half this good. You can really tell a lot of effort and care went into this movie and it shows.

Kong himself is great. He's completely stop motion animated and if there is anything I respect, it's good stop motion. I have attempted to do it in the past and needless to say, not so good. Although we did a stop motion Degrassi episode in high school that was pretty god damn funny. Kong looks great here and the effects, as primitive as some are, are impressive and add a whole lot of charm to the movie. The scene where dummies of people keep falling off a log and down a cliff was just amazing. I loved it.

I was surprised by how violent this movie is too. Kong doesn't hold back, he just fucks people up left and right. He eats them, throws them to the ground and stomps on their heads, drops them off buildings...it's awesome!

You know the more I think about it the more I enjoyed this movie. I can't wait to start further exploring some more of the classic monster movies.

8.5/10