Last House on the Left (2009)

I've never actually seen the original. Frankly I've never really wanted to. I've heard it's disgusting and very hard to sit through and it doesn't seem like one of those movies you willingly sit down to watch. It reminds me of when we were younger and thought I Spit on Your Grave would be some stupid movie we could fun of until it fucked our minds until we wanted to cry. I did plan on watching the original before this one just so I could draw some sort of comparison, but I guess I was too busy watching old monster movies or something because I never found the time. Frankly this movie didn't leave me with a huge desire to go back and watch the older one.

I knew going into this that it would be pretty messed up. It is, absolutely. The first hour is just rape and torture. Not Saw torture though. It's a lot more gritty and realistic. I get the point of all of it, and I'm sure it's something you could really dissect and analyze but this isn't the kind of review that does that. I just wasn't that interested in watching all these terrible things happen to these girls. Was it sickening? Of course it was. It's also not appealing. I know I sound all uppidy but I watched and enjoyed fucking Inside so you can suck it.

The parents getting revenge (not a spoiler for anyone who has seen anything for this movie or is aware of its existance) doesn't come until the last 25 minutes or so and all of that stuff was pretty much already shown in the trailer, including the big payoff so you know where everything is leading. It reminded me of Quarantine in that sense. Don't give away that much shit in the trailers! It ruins the viewing experience! It's gorier here than obviously the trailers will let them show, but none of it is surprising. The sequence was the highlight of the movie though still because fuck do you ever the bad guys to die horrible deaths by this point.

The performances are pretty good, although the bad girl seems like she is only there to get naked a few times. It's weird to see Sara Paxton as the rape victim. She was Aquamarine man! You can't rape Aquamarine! Also Monica Potter and Tony Goldwyn I thought were good as the parents and it's cool to see Goldwyn here. I don't even remember the last movie that I saw him in.

As a whole, the movie is ok. The setup is important so the ending is satisfying and I'm sure there's a whole message about human savagery and what not but like I said, this isn't where you come to hear that. 

6/10 - Higher than the review may it sound like it would be, but that's fine...as are peanut butter and crackers